Today is Gemma's 6 month birthday... and I'm missing it. I am not doing anything out of the ordinary- working all day, but somehow today seems harder. Maybe I'm sobering to the knowledge that she's growing so fast. Maybe I'm tender to the words of my mother reminding me of what a perfect baby she is- all the while knowing I can't spend the days with her. Maybe I'm just tired, sick, and spread really thin at work.
Whatever it is, I feel sad that I'm spending the day with other people's kids and not my beautiful little girl. I love what I do so I know that once the kids get here, I'll change my tune, switch into teacher mode and not look back...but now? Now, the tears are near the surface, the melancholy over the past 6 months is settling, and the urge to dig my heels in and stop this wild ride that is growing up from happening is almost overwhelming. Where has the time gone?
What I wouldn't give to spend each moment with her. I am so thankful that I am a teacher and have the summer time to lavish her with my love for longer than 20 minutes in the morning and 2 hours in the evening. I'm so thankful that I really do love my job and the kids who I serve. I am so thankful for her health and her smile and her giggle.
Just to remember...
Happy 6 month Birthday Beautiful! You are my precious little jewel.
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- ► 2010 (31)