Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Heartbroken

I don't have words right now. I'm just heartbroken. Our doctor did another ultrasound and saw that the baby is shrinking, has no heartbeat, and the gestational sac is getting deformed- in preparation for miscarriage. She said, "This is it. This is 100%. This is your definite answer. There is no hope for this pregnancy." She put her hand on my knee and told us that we would get through this. I know that when we have a healthy baby, she will be cheering us on from the front row. I love my doctor. I think she's wonderful. She explained my options and I've decided to wait awhile longer and let my body do it's thing. If this doesn't happen naturally, there are other options but they are not on my radar right now. One really great thing is, I did get pictures from the ultrasound so that I can always know there was a little life in me at one time.

Abe and I ask that you pray for closure for us both physically and emotionally and for comfort as we grieve the loss of our first little baby. Right now, I don't have wonderful words about God to share with you because I'm out of words in general. I'm completely overwhelmed while He's patiently, firmly, and tenderly holding me in the palm of His hand, cradling my broken heart and calming my frayed spirit.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 2 Cor 1:3-5

We thank you for your continued support, love, and prayers. Beseeching God on our behalf is the greatest thing you can do for us right now. As I've said before, we'll be okay, we're just passing through the valley.


Sarah and Abe

3 comments:

  1. You have such great faith that I am always in awe of. It seems to be your anchor in the storm. May peace find your heart and strength bind your soul. You are the most tender soul I know yet you harbor such power. I have shed tears for you and have given you my prayers such as they are. This only makes life more precious- Laura

    P.S. thanks for getting me home...

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  2. Sarah- my heart breaks for you and your husband during this difficult time. I pray for peace, comfort and God's love to embrace you both as you wait. You will be in the sincere prayers of the Persuitti family. All our love, Michelle

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  3. Sarah,
    I was going to quote the verse(s) you just did from Chorintians. That is the verse I clung to after we lost Ty. I knew that despite his earthly death and our "loss" good would come out of it. So far we have seen our own faith in Christ strengthen, our first son, Tegan, talks about heaven and God so much now and how he wants to visit and see Ty and God and know them... and now I am able to do my best to comfort others going through similar losses. I know you've got Heather to talk to, but know that I am always here to talk, listen, hug, cry, whatever you need! Cling to the knowledge that your child will forever know the love and touch of our Lord, Jesus Christ. That your babe will never know pain and sorrow... that's what I remind myself when I encounter situations that I had hoped to share with Ty. I hope my words help and do not hurt. Take care and know that you are being lifted in prayer and that, like you wrote, God is holding you in his arms and comforting you, though you might not feel it just yet.
    ~jenn & family

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