Happy Halloween!!

A night out

Last night Abe took me to an amazing steakhouse for a birthday dinner. My sister babysat Gemma and had a great time. Anna, my sister, is a nurse so I knew Gemma was in good hands. Before we left, I wanted just one family picture so here we are- just missing he dogs. We'll get one with them for Christmas! It was wonderful to cuddle in a cozy booth with Abe and remember why we decided to be together in the first place. We toasted our couplehood first and our parenthood second. We ate rare steak and sipped red wine and just basked in each other's presence. I love that man something fierce! Then, on the way home, in true romantic fashion, we stopped at the store for diapers and wipes... ahhh what a night!

Irresistible

I couldn't resist snapping a few photos of my girl this morning. She's dressed all pretty in purple and just looked so peaceful sleeping that I had to capture it.
Happy Friday!
Enjoy!

A bed wedge, a Danny Sling, and one sad Mama...

Today we got a delivery of a bed wedge to elevate one side of Gemma's crib mattress, a Danny Sling to prevent her from rolling down to the end of the crib, and now she's taking a nap all by herself in her crib.

So where does the sad Mama come in? Well, since she's so refluxy, and aspirates thin liquids, our doctor recommended that Gemma sleep inclined and in a Danny Sling. So, now she has to sleep in her crib at night. I've gotten used to her sleeping in her bassinet right next to me. I could just sit up and stare at her if I needed to see her. I could scoop her up if she was crying and cuddle her on my chest if she was having a hard time going to sleep. Now, I have to sleep in a separate room and it's breaking my heart. My little girl, so small, in that big crib... I may have to spend a few nights in the leather recliner in her room just to ease myself into this transition. I'm sure she'll be fine, but me? Not so much.

If I'm this worked up over her using her own bed in the nursery that I envisioned her sleeping in for months, what on earth am I going to be like when she has her first tooth, gets on the bus to Kindergarten, graduates High School, gets married, has her own baby!? Oh my aching heart... it's all too much. Thank God, she's got a long way to go before I'm zipping her up in her wedding gown or watching her get on the school bus. God knew what He was doing when He started us out as babies.

I'm loving her right now- cuddling with her, feeding her, talking to her, kissing her little cheeks. She is the best birthday present I've ever gotten! And I've gotten some good ones... a house, a dog...

Abe and I are going out for my birthday tomorrow night just the two of us. I'm so excited. We are going for delicious steak and wine dinner. I have missed my one on one time with him. I know that we are parents now but we were a couple first and he's the love of my life- I am dying to reconnect with him. We are both looking forward to spending a little time together that is not punctuated with spit up, crying Gemma, barking dogs, or dishes piled in the sink.

Life is good, God is good. We are so hopeful that God will heal Gemma completely and she'll be on her way to normal foods/liquids soon. She's worth every odd medical thing- bed wedges and slings, and every late night feeding. I'm re-evaluating my life right now, realizing that pleasing others is not what is the most important calling in my life. The People Pleaser in me is fighting that, but is freed by that statement at the same time. My priority is raising my daughter, loving my husband, and honoring God. All else can wait- dirty dishes included.


The two most important people in the world.

Happy 3 Week Birthday Gemma!

Today is Gemma's 3 week birthday. She's already changed so much and is doing really well. Her reflux meds seem to be making a difference and nebbing her is getting much easier. Here are some photos of her as she looks today at 3 weeks old!

Wow, I can't believe that she was IN my stomach 3 weeks ago. That's just bizarre! God really works in miraculous ways to go from giving birth just a short time ago and now to raising a little human!

Wow, she is SO LOVED.


Here she is with her two new best friends.

Tiny Turtle

This is just a glimpse of our nighttime routine. I can't resist how cute her little nebulizer is. The little turtle face just cracks me up. If we can give her this while she's sleeping, that's ideal. If she wakes up, she usually cries because she's hungry and that breaks my heart! The reflux meds seem to be making a bit of a difference- in fact, she slept for almost 5 hours straight last night after cluster feeding. It was wonderful and we are both feeling better today than yesterday.

I published her birth story but since I started it a long time ago, it posted before all the other posts. If you are interested in reading that, it's dated October 9th. Enjoy!

I continue to thicken everything and we are getting some more medical equipment delivered- a bed wedge and a danny sling to help her sleep more upright and keep the reflux in her tummy, where it belongs. She's precious and such a trooper- this is what she's doing right now...



Oh, sigh....

Update #2- house arrest

Isaiah 40:31 (New International Version)

31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

This will be a quick one- Gemma is asleep, temporarily, in her bouncy seat next to me. We've come up with a new plan with our pediatrician and the clinicians we've seen at Children's. I will continue thickening all her feeds, whether breast milk in a bottle or formula with rice cereal. I am going to taper off pumping. I have like zero time during the day to pump as it is since her feedings take so long so I'm going to only pump as I can and give her at least one bottle a day of breast milk. Every little bit helps.

Our doctor is trying to get our insurance company to approve Prevacid for Gemma as a reflux med. Since standard of care says we need to use Zantac first(which is a thin liquid that she can aspirate) we have a bunch of hoops to jump through to get Prevacid approved. Also, the doctor wants to put Gemma on Pulmocort (an inhaled steroid) to keep her airway calm and clear through flu season. The primary concern is any little bug can cause major infection since she already has fluid in her lungs and an irritated airway.

So, we are on house arrest. Sorry to those of you who want to come and visit- we have been told to limit her contact with people outside Abe and I. Also, anyone who even has a shadow of a cold has to steer clear completely. That means my plans of taking my girl Christmas shopping with me are definitely off the table for now. No church, no grocery shopping, no errands unless we are driving through. I'm bummed that I'm bound to the house, especially since the house is such a disaster, it stresses me out to look around. However, keeping Gemma healthy is my primary focus and we'll camp out here until she is healed.

Please join us in praying for complete healing of her airway, so there is no aspiration and complete healing of her reflux. Please pray she is healed by the next appointment we have in 6 weeks- if not way sooner! Please pray she has zero ZERO negative side affects from any of the meds we decide to put her on- especially the Pulmocort. I know God is able and this could be so much worse but it's hard seeing your baby in pain, gagging, unable to breathe or eat. Thankfully, we are able to get enough in to her that she is gaining weight- not as much as we would like but I'm working on it! As of right now, she sleeps on my chest inclined so that her reflux doesn't bother her so much. She sleeps pretty well, me on the other hand... not so much.

It's amazing how much I love this little girl and how overwhelmed I am. Pray for peace and patience for me- wisdom for Abe and I as we continue to navigate unknown situations- and guidance for all of our many doctors who continue to give Gemma wonderful care!

The Lord is faithful. This is the child we prayed for and I know He made her for Abe and I to parent. She is God's precious jewel and our beloved daughter. My heart swells to bursting when I look at her. When I have a spare moment, I promise I will take a picture or two.

Until then, picture her wrapped snugly and sleeping soundly... for now. Her tiny left hand is folded in her blanket and her right arm is sticking straight out. She is breathing smoothly, the tiny hairs on her head pulsing with her heartbeat in her soft spot. She's breathtaking...


...and I think she needs a diaper change. :)