20 We wait in hope for the Lord;
he is our help and our shield.
21 In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.
22 May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord,
even as we put our hope in you.
Yes, it's 4:21 am and I'm awake. Seems I'm always awake at this time lately. I suppose I'm preparing myself for mid-night feedings, right? I like the quiet of the house at this time of night. The dogs aren't barking, there is just a whir of a fan in the living room and the sound of my typing. Poor Abe hasn't been sleeping well either. I'm sure that's my fault as I must toss and readjust a lot.
I had the biophysical profile done two weeks ago and everything looks great. Her heart is good, her little body looks great, fluid levels are normal- she's sitting pretty. They double checked and she is definitely a girl. :) Also, she does have a little bit of hair and gigantic cheeks. I'm not saying that to be silly or self-indulgent, but the ultrasound tech (both of them actually) commented on how huge her cheeks were. I believe her exact wording was, "well, she's definitely not going to be one of those babies people are afraid to pick up because they'd break her." Hmmm... I suppose that's a good thing. They reassured me that cheeks squish and it wouldn't be difficult to deliver soft squishy cheeks. Really? You had to reassure me about that? How big ARE her cheeks? :) Her ultrasound pictures made he look like the Penguin from Batman but I'm sure she'll get a neck before delivery, right? (insert snarky little laugh) Either way, neck or no neck, she'll be beautiful in all her fat-faced glory and I can't wait to meet her.
Yesterday, Wednesday, I went in to the doctor for a blood pressure check. At my 38 week appt. on Monday, my blood pressure was high. They took it twice and it was high both times. She asked to see me again on Wednesday and so yesterday, I spent the day at the doctor's office. I actually like going to the doctor- the receptionists are so nice and we just laugh and catch up every time I'm there. I've already posted about how much I like my doctor, but just in case you missed it, she rocks. Seriously. Anyway, they checked my blood pressure again yesterday at 11:30 and it was high again. Not scary high, we need to induce you right away kind of thing, but high enough that my doctor has put me on complete bedrest until our little girl makes her arrival. She said that if I don't take it easy, i.e. quit teaching and get off my feet, that this could move into preeclampsia and that would be VERY serious. So, off my feet I go- onto my left side to be more specific.
I had to stop in at school and let my poor sub know that my "maternity leave" would be starting a little early. She's a good sport but definitely feeling overwhelmed as she thought she'd have a couple more days at least to shadow me. My students don't know any of this and I'm sure they'll all think I had the baby and be squirrelly and rowdy for my sub. Oh well, as the head of HR and both my principals have said, I need to take care of myself and right now I have the most important job in the world- growing another life.
I go back into the doctor on Monday and they'll check my blood pressure again. If it's still high, we might talk induction. I get a little nervous waiting for her to arrive on her own if my pressure is high so I'd be okay inducing. That being said, I'm a bit nervous to be induced. I heard that it can be more intense than natural labor. Either way, whatever I have to go through to meet this little beauty, I will.
I'm absolutely over the moon to meet her. Now that we are getting really close, it seems so surreal that our family will be one person larger; one fully formed, completely unique, magnificently made person larger. How can anyone deny the miracle of a baby? Even those who don't want to bear children must marvel at the fact that we get to be a part of creating a new independent life. What will she look like? What will her interests be? Will she be shy or outgoing? (those of you who know me, stop laughing... she COULD be shy, you never know.) Will she have brown eyes or blue eyes? When will she first call me mama? Will she have my flat feet or Abe's soft hands? She could be any one of a million combinations of perfection and I can't wait to see how God has knit her together.
I'm in awe of the gift God has given me in already being her mama. I continue to just say thank YOU, and I can't believe YOU chose Abe and I to be HER parents. I feel tangible joy from God over the joy and excitement I feel awaiting her arrival. I could gush forever.
I will try to get another picture up of my big 'ol belly before the big day but will keep you all posted on what happens. Please pray that my blood pressure stays manageable for these next 5 days and into and through the delivery. Please pray that my doctor's decisions will be guided by wisdom and that in the near future, I will be posting pictures of my healthy, beautiful, big-cheeked, little girl.
Have I mentioned that I'm over the moon to meet her?
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